Friday, January 22, 2010

I've been running...

on fumes since my exile back to the South. You'd think that all the trash would give me a ton of material, but it's just over. I barely have the strength to go on, even with all the diet pills.

It seems that I'm starting to emerge from my debilitating depression (unfortunately), but a few things are driving me fucking crazy. Mainly, the Democrats have failed our country and the working poor by fucking up health care and it seems that we're more white trash than ever, I just can't take it.

Thank God for CINDY McCain, aka Joan Collins 2.0! At least I can count on her to fight the fight for all my precious Queens. Why are liberals so goddamn weak (excluding Hillary, of course)? The Dems are pussies and the Repubs are shitty faux drooling Christian morons. Do you know where that leaves us? I'll tell you, we are totally fucked.

I'm giving up on politics and going to spend the rest of my days counting pills, just like this methed out choctaw slut during a movie I saw the other day. Every few minutes I'd hear her goddamn pill bottle rattling and then she would count that shit out. After the movie, I saw her peel out in the most adorable Taurus station wagon. She left skid marks on the pavement and also in her chair in the theater (I conducted my own sniff test), my kind of cracked out slut.

Don't feel sorry for me, I've got a bright "future" ahead. Just the other day, I "bumped" into the maid and she fell down the stairs. It's really the little things. And I know there is a basement somewhere, a la Silence of the Lambs, a place where I can finally torture a bus of retards be comfortable.

And one more thing, don't think I didn't catch the fucked up crazy shit that came out of Pat Robertson's mouth about Haiti's "pact with the devil." I'm pretty sure he was already at the top of the "Just Die" list, but I can't wait to upgrade him to the "Thank God He's Dead" list.

I'm going to dedicate my last blog to a few of my favorite crunk bitches. I'm in awe of their numerous surgies and addicitons. Let's raise our pill bottles to Priscilla, Joan, Elizabeth and Candy.


Anonymous said...

you're disgusting...i think i love you!

Faith Georgia said...

RE: Sing and Sign DVD

Please G-d, smite these people. Smite them, they have taken your beautiful sign language and totally fucked up. If you have any extra lightning bolts, use them now.

Signed, an ASL signer.

Anonymous said...

Why haven't you updated your page, you filthy skank? Is it that difficult to type with your bingo wings, or did you get them clipped?