Friday, May 30, 2008

Ron Paul is...



absolutely fucking crazy and his supporters are all fucked up drooling morons. His platform is adorable, cute revolution. I'm sure!! The unicorn he's riding even puts Obamabot fanaticism to shame. Rednecks just can't get enough of this crazy bastard. Cute vote against Rosa Parks, way to stand up for the constitution. FUCK YA!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

A mink stole...

is so goddamn trashy. Anything with the head still on it is such a great look. If you get bored you can pet it, talk to it, fuck with it's coiff. The white one belonged to Marilyn Monroe, what a dead slut. You know that mink witnessed multiple orgies and a ton of pills. Better living through pharmaceuticals washed down with vodka. Sotheby's had to steam the hell out of it to get the skank smell to go away.


I'm totally obsessed...

with this picture. I jacked it from Dlisted and I'm mesmerized. She's magnificent in every way and her baby will be so proud looking back on this in years to come.

Nancy Pelosi is...


is such a skanky bitch and her plastic surgeon really fucked up her face. Her interference in the election is about cause me to up my daily dosage of Xanax. She just can't stand the idea of not being the top bitch in the kennel.

Is black really...

that slimming? Not really, especially when you're a total pig. She might need to try the draping technique.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Speaking in tongues!

I'm kind of obsessed with people who "speak in tongues." Give me a fucking break. The video below is not a joke. This is really a room packed full of white trash, hollering because the LORD has filled them with the "spirit," I'm so fucking sure. Why can't militant white trash not find other hobbies besides participating in crazy fucked up bullshit. Shit like this keeps me up at night and you know they own a ton of guns.

Pig of the week!


Roland Martin is such a stupid fucking irrelevant pig. Why is he on CNN and why the fuck do they post his ridiculous rants? He's so talented and such an intellectual. At the bottom of his stories, the CNN disclaimer states, "Roland S. Martin is a nationally award-winning journalist and CNN contributor. Martin is studying to receive his master's degree in Christian communications at Louisiana Baptist University."

Journalist?? Cute objectivity. First of all what a shitty masters and what the fuck is Christian Communications? I have a feeling that he can speak in tongues. Louisiana Baptist University sounds equally as impressive as his shitty degree, what a fucking moron!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Neck tattoos are...


so sick. I saw this really gross disgruntled dyke this weekend, she had a beautiful neck tattoo. I'll go into to her multi layered identity crisis at a later date. A nice tattoo on your neck is a really a great way to impress a potential employer.

A trip to...

Six Flags will result in a mountain of misery.

Just what the...

fuck is this crazy queen wearing?!? Anything with the head attached is fucking sick.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Sometimes people are...

born to be together.

I'm obsessed with...

these people and for good reason! I want to keep their joy alive. I don't give a fuck how many times I've posted pictures of them.

I'd like to...

speak with Jesus. Gloria Huddle is off the hook! She's Trash Heaven's Christian of the year!!! Please watch her amazing performance.




Thursday, May 22, 2008

This week's blog...

is brought to you by Paxil. Paxil fucked me up so bad, that I have to take even more meds. Cute.

Hair Salons...


feature some of the trashiest names ever! What is the deal? Is it a requirement when you open a salon that it has to have a fucked up name? My favorite white trash salons usually have a French name, like La Mirage or L'Ocean du Desires. And what is the deal with salons always being closed due to illness?

Top Ten trashy hair salon names in my hometown:
1. Noami Rose & Co.
2. NU-U
3. Tramps
4. BraZen
5. Teazed
6. The Electric Chair
7. Makin Waves
8. The Mane Attraction
9. Spoiled
10. White Lotus Salon

There is nothing...

as sick as a chunky heeled white pair of shoes. Really nice way to accentuate the leg. I suggest adding a pair of Old Navy cargo shorts, white tank top and a tanned club face to finish off this look.

American Idol...


is beyond trashy. The show is the pinnacle of what is wrong with our country and the type of fucked up distraction we require to make it through our shitty lives. Millions of people would rather vote for theses talentless contestants than for our representatives in government, morons!!! I watched the finale along with the other millions of droolers. It's a big hit at all the nursing homes.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Fergie on the Today Show

Nice move, you can see her tampon string. Look at her goddamn boots!

If you really...

want to make a statement - get a Ford Taurus, the pride of a nation.

A benefit of...

my exile in Arkansas - endless material.

Starving for affection

You have to...

love crazy Christians. They really make the world a better place.

A picture of...

my best friend's dads.

Monday, May 19, 2008

I had the...

pleasure of sitting next to this "lady" on the plane today. I'm just not sure if I can fly commercial anymore. I even used the fake Ipod trick where you pretend to listen to music so nobody will talk to you. A determined redneck will find a way to tell you about her dog, retarded grand kids or big win at the casino. I'm private!

If you want...

to find some serious trash, spend some quality time at an airport. I was in total shock all day at multiple shitty airports. The Xanax didn't even help!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

On a nice...

stroll with my mother today, I spotted these fucked up boots!

The Hilton...

is such a fucking dump. I checked into the Washington Hilton last night, the one where President Reagan was blown away. Anyway, the room was fucking gross and the toilet wouldn't stop running. An "engineer" was sent up and he left the room with two trash bags. What the fuck was stuck in the toilet? A wig, shoe, prosthetic limb??? I'm so ill!

Friday, May 16, 2008

I'm going to...

hell for making fun of this family. At least they are protecting us from the terrorists.




Dripping with...

glamour!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Opportunism strikes again!

John Edwards is a pig!

Gold nugget...

jewelry is so goddamn trashy. The rings are great for beating up your girlfriend/mom/wife/grandma.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

There is nothing...

trashier than a class ring! Redneck fuckers!

Making fun of...

drag queens is one of the only things that's kept me going over the years. Cute lifestyle. She won the pageant that night, but was late to her shift at Wendys the next day.

It appears that...

everything is not ok.

Boot and pig of the week!

Monday, May 12, 2008

I just can't...

stop with the whore boots.

Is forever...

long enough when it comes to a Tweetie Bird tattoo. Looney Tunes and white trash go back a long time.

Any parent...

would be so proud.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The famous...

flower lady of Fayetteville, AR. She's amazing and her new diet of six cheeseburgers a day seems to be working.

The look that...

you should really be going for.

When you feel...

the Lord, you have to show it. Churches like this are so fucked up!! There are some sick fucks out there. Lock your doors at night!

I'm flipping out...

to see Savage Grace.

What people...

in the South do for fun.
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Look of the week

Pearls on the goddamn beach.
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Life isn't...

the same without her.
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Today's blog...

is brought to you by Ted Haggard. There is nothing better than a crazy ass Christan getting caught doing meth and fucking a male prostitute.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

She's on the...

kind of meds, I've only dreamed of.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Michelle Duggar...

is pregnant with her 18th goddamn baby! You have to be kidding me! How beat up is her vagina? It's got to be like a taffy pull or like a grenade that has gone off in a vat of ground beef.